Grandma

Jon and I had just gotten into bed, lights turned out, and said our goodnights, when I got a call from my Mom. It's a call I've been expecting, and I knew before she even said the words.

Grandma and me

A few hours ago, my grandma, LaRae Earl, passed away. She was the last living grandparent I had, and she's the only grandparent I really felt like I got to know. My grandpas from both sides of my family passed away while I was in elementary school, and my Mom's mom passed away while I was in middle school.

I had actually started this post a few hours before I heard from my Mom because I had my grandma on my mind and in my prayers a lot lately. About a week or two ago, she fell while she was walking back to her room from the dining hall at her assisted living center. She broke both her hip and leg. She had to have surgery. Before this, she hadn't been doing too well... She had started developing dementia. She was very forgetful of things and VERY fragile. She fell quite often, even though she had a walker (she didn't always use it). She's broken her arm before from her falls, but nothing this serious. She's had back pain for a long time and would always complain of it. She had been depressed for I don't know how many years. She told my Mom on numerous occasions that she was ready to go. Her love had passed away more than 15 years ago!! I know she missed him. Anyways, she had surgery early last week and then had to be transferred to a nursing home with rehab. My Mom said she was not the same anymore. She was incoherent, babbling, head drooping, etc. My Mom said it was very sad to see her that way.

Now she could have gone on like this for many more months, maybe even years. She could have gotten better (maybe not fully...) and lived longer. But I didn't pray that she would "survive." Instead, I prayed that she would pass quickly. I knew that's what she wanted, I knew she was in pain, and I knew she wanted to see her companion again. That was what was best for her. So I had been waiting for my Mom to call any day now...

I'm grateful that I was able to spend so much time with her this year. I have been able to spend about a month and a half in San Diego so far this year. I was able to see her a lot, and she was able to meet her great-granddaughter and spend a lot of time with her. It's been fairly unusual for me to be in San Diego that often since Jon and I got married. But I am glad that we were in a position that allowed Madeline and me [and Jon (once)] to travel there and see both my family and her. In fact, she was able to see all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren fairly recently. We have all been blessed to have a wonderful grandmother. I will miss her. But I know that there is a joyous reunion on the other side of the veil. I am grateful for my membership in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and for my testimony. I'm especially grateful for temples and the knowledge that families can be together forever.

 Scott, Grandpa and Grandma Earl, Mom, me, Jeanine, and Dad at my baby blessing

Grandpa and Grandma Earl, me, Jeanine, and Scott on "vacation" at Grandpa and Grandma's condo.

 Grandma and Grandpa Earl, Grandpa and Grandma Warmker, Dad, Mom, Scott, me, Jeanine, and Roger at Roger's baby blessing

Jon, me, and Grandma at our wedding in 2007

Grandma at my wedding

"GG" with Madeline in March 2012

"...[W]e can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life." -  Russell M. Nelson

I love you, Grandma!

Seven and Eight Months of Madeline!

To sum up these months, this is what has been going on:

Maddie learned to sit up from lying down around 7.5 months, and then maybe a week later started crawling.

She started getting into things, doing downward dogs, and climbing into my lap. Separation anxiety is in full effect here. Most days I spend with her in my lap or arms, even with her new mobility skills.

But sometimes she is in a good mood and finds cool things to play with like ramen and guitars. That is when I get about 5-10 minutes to eat or do whatever I want/need to do. But sometimes she likes to know what I'm doing and crawls right into the bathroom (I was cleaning out one of her cloth diapers that time- no business of my own there.). And she likes to see what's going on all the time, especially when we're doing dishes. So she crawls over, grabs our legs, and whines until we pick her up.

One of her daily things is to play with our water jugs and Jon's ramen. She was, apparently, trying to pull them all off (and almost did!) before she got distracted by ramen again.

See? She sure does love ramen. Those packages make lots of noise and are cool to bang on the ground. But it's also cool to bang your head into things. That is something she likes to do these days. It started with toys and other objects, but she will now also bang her head into walls and the like. And the last picture there is Maddie standing up next to Daddy at church (she had help with that).

But she didn't need help for this! She has now started pulling herself up and pulling everything onto the ground that she can grab.

There she is helping Mom find some breakfast. "No, Maddie, I do not want spinach leaves for breakfast." And she continued to pull herself up on other things, like her book/stuffed animal box AND the bathtub. THAT has led to some not so comfortable tumbles. But who doesn't like seeing some baby buns? They are just so cute!

Oh, and Maddie went to the doctor for her 6 month checkup (finally!) at 7 months-ish. She weighed 16 lbs. 7 oz. But I'm guessing she's barely 16 even. This doctor's office weighed her WITH all her clothes on, and I had a cloth diaper on her (which she didn't ever before since we just started using them regularly in the past few months). I thought we were going to put her in a dry diaper, so I was planning on changing her into a disposable when they told us to do so... but they didn't. And they measured her at 24" but she was really 26". AND the doctor maybe said two words to us. Worst doctor's office ever.

Branson

A few weeks ago, Jon and I decided to go on a random overnight trip to Branson. Mostly because there was a swim floater that I wanted to get for Maddie that only Target had in stores. But Jon also needed to get new clothes, and I never will turn down a shopping trip for myself either. Originally, we were thinking of going to St. Louis for two nights because the Padres were going to be in town playing the Cardinals. But since Jon hasn't worked as much as we thought he was going to and hasn't earned as much either, we decided not to do that. Plus, we didn't want to spend a lot of money on a trip just to go to a baseball game that we weren't even sure how Maddie would do at.

Jon went to work Monday, and I booked a room at a place that had decent reviews and wasn't too expensive. When he got home, we got everything packed up in the car and took off! Maddie slept most of the way there. We went to dinner a restaurant that was one of the top rated places in Branson, Danna's BBQ and Burger. I was excited to eat a good burger because, well, this place is DEFINITELY lacking in good food choices. We loved it! We will for sure go back. Then we headed to our hotel. We knew we couldn't do a whole lot that evening since Maddie goes to bed usually around 6:30 PM. I was worried about putting her to sleep in the pack-n-play because I wasn't sure how it'd go. Plus, we weren't going to bed that early, and there wasn't a separate room to stick her in so that it would be dark and quiet for her. So we decided to head to Target that evening to get her to fall asleep in her car seat (which she does SO WELL these days!). We also wanted to get one swim in at the pool before we had to checkout the next morning, which meant we would have to go right after breakfast. So we went to Target, and I was in love. I was so happy to be there! Jon thinks it's weird that I have this obsession with Target. But, I don't know how to explain it, it is just one of my happy places.

Maddie did really well. She slept in her carseat until some time in the early morning hours, when I got up, fed her, and laid her back down in the pack-n-play. When she got up again, we all got up and went down for breakfast. Every old person there kept calling her a boy, which didn't make sense since she was wearing PINK jammies with PINK hearts. Seriously, people?! One person even said to me, "What's the little guy's name?" I responded, "Madeline." And then the lady said back, "Oh, a boy's name?!" - like she still thought Maddie was a boy with a girl's name. Weirdos. Afterwards, we went swimming for about 30 minutes. Maddie LOVED the water! There was a random beach ball left there, and Jon would pull it under the water and let go. Maddie giggled SO MUCH when it would pop back up out of the water.

After we put Maddie down for a short nap, showered, packed back up, and checked out, it was time to go shopping. I got lots of stuff, but, unfortunately, Jon didn't get much. Maddie had an accident in GAP. Haha. It was funny, but poor Dad. I'm glad it didn't happen to me since I was holding her not long before. :) We were buying the cheap Walmart diapers, and it was already pretty wet... Then she "dirtied" it... and, well, Jon felt something running down his leg and onto the floor. So I took Maddie into a changing room to change her, and, OF COURSE, Jon had packed the wipes in the other bag. Haha. It was definitely a fun new parent experience. We ate lunch at Fuddrucker's... YUMMY! And then headed home.

 Our room

Maddie is so happy!

 What do you put in those top drawers and how do you even reach them???

Our bed had a really cool step stool.

The lovely view we had... 

 Creepy pictures were hung everywhere.

Sitting.

Falling.

The TV & the "Good Book." 

 The beginning of her roly poly-ness...

 She only really gets like this when she is on a bed. Kind of ironic, huh?

 Morning swimming!

 Even though Maddie moves around a lot, especially on beds, Jon still puts her on them and walks away. I get upset with him, and this is what happens... a pillow fort.

And from my phone:

 The main lobby had huge teddy bears.

Nap time after swimming. 

 She loves to "drive" the car.

We had to stop in Yellville to feed her and give her a break from her carseat.

Five and Six Months of Madeline!

We blessed Madeline on March 18th in our Provo ward. My parents, brother, sister's family, and Jon's dad were all able to come. It was a very sweet blessing given by Jon, and my wonderful neighbor recorded the blessing for us. After sacrament meeting, we all went to Red Robin since my family didn't get to see much of us (they were babysitting my niece when my sister had to work- and she got sick), and I knew they would want to go out for one last meal before we moved.

The next day was Madeline's four month appointment. She weighed in at 12 lbs. 12 oz., and I can't remember what she measured (I'll have to find my paper). She was much smaller than what Jon and I both thought she was going to be! She did much better with these shots as well. The rest of the day was spent finishing up packing and cleaning. Then we went to eat at Iggy's one last time with Jon's dad (he was staying with us and helping us move). The next morning, we got breakfast, and they drove Maddie and I up to my sister's place in Herriman. We said goodbye to Daddy and spent the rest of the day with my sister and her family. We went to Cafe Rio and The Cheescake Factory for lunch and then dinner. It was my first time to The Cheesecake Factory, and maybe I didn't order the best item on the menu, but I wasn't that impressed. Plus, we waited foreverrrrrrrr, and Maddie was SUPER grumpy because it was her bedtime by the time we finally got seated. Anyways, I didn't get much sleep that night because we got home late, and I still wanted to take a shower. Maddie slept on the air mattress with me. The next morning, my sister took us to the airport early in the morning. Since I had flown with Maddie before, this time went much more smoothly than the previous time. I also didn't have as much stuff since I only needed a day's worth of items.

Maddie did really well on the plane! She slept in my arms the WHOLE time! We had a layover in Denver, where I was able to get some lunch (and dessert! -Ben & Jerry's- YUM!). Maddie and I walked around in a few different stores because we still had plenty of time to kill. Eventually we boarded the plane to Branson, and Maddie ALMOST slept the whole way. In fact, she did really well again... But when we got to Branson, our plane couldn't land because of the storms. The captain said something about maybe having to reroute to St. Louis. And Maddie let them know how she felt about this! She woke up and screamed!!!! I thought maybe she was hungry, so I tried to feed her. But she didn't want that! So I tried so many different things until I realized that she just wanted to go back to sleep. So I held her iPhone (my old one) next to her ear, played some music, stuck her pacifier back in her mouth, and rocked her back to sleep. And she was out quickly! I guess I should have tried that first??? Luckily, we were able to land in Branson after maybe 30 minutes of circling in the air. I was so grateful to get off that plane and to be done with traveling (well, almost!). I was also grateful that so many people around me were so nice about Maddie's 5 minutes of screaming. Some people told me they didn't even know there was a baby behind them until they heard that... and that I did a really good job with her on the plane! We finally got to see Daddy again, and Maddie got to meet her Aunt Lacey for the first time! Unfortunately, we still had to drive another 1.5 hours to get to our new home in Arkansas.

It took us a month to unpack (and, really, we still aren't fully unpacked because we have less storage space here- closets, shelves, etc.). We're living in a small 2 bedroom, 1 bath house that my father-in-law rents out. It was recently rebuilt (about a year ago) because a fire burned the original down. And while there are plenty of things I don't like about it, it is nice to be in a somewhat "new" place.

The first month or two here was also really hard on me. After about a week of living here, I'm pretty sure that I started developing some postpartum depression. Jon was working for his Dad, who worked him VERY long hours (something like 7am-6pm). Jon seemed to be gone a lot on Saturdays, and then we'd be at his parents' after church on Sundays. I felt like we never got to have just our own family time. Also, Maddie was still being very difficult with her sleep and naps. She was taking 30 minute naps at the most, and I just wanted to be able to have some "me" time too. Anyways, I spent a lot of time feeling angry and sad about being here and about having a baby that was just being so difficult. I am still not happy about being here, and I still have some "bad" days. But things have definitely improved since that first little while, which is probably because Maddie is finally sleeping well at night IN HER CRIB and taking pretty good naps. She definitely has her days, but I have noticed that since she is sleeping better both at night and during the day that she is SO much happier. She was always so grumpy around me when she wasn't sleeping well, and I would tell Jon that she just didn't like me (even though I knew that wasn't true, but it sure felt like it!). So she would be grumpy with me, and then Dad would come home, and she'd be happy and giggly! It's not quite like that anymore, but Daddy sure does make her smile and giggle much more than Mommy does.

Updates on Maddie:
She can sit up on her own since about 5 months.
She is very smiley and loves to laugh.
She is very ticklish in her armpits!
Daddy's beard also tickles her feet, which makes her giggle tons!
She started on solids at 5 months, and she LOVES food! We haven't found anything she doesn't like!
She has started to feed herself (the dissolvable finger foods & tiny pieces of our pancakes).
She sits in the grocery cart without her car seat now and sits in a high chair when we go out to eat.
She is very into the "let's see how many times Mom or Dad will pick up this toy I drop."
She LOVES the water! Bath, pool, and lake! (I can't wait to take her to the beach!)
And she LOVES to eat sand. :)
Her first tooth arrived on her 6 months birthday... and a few days later a second one started coming in!
She smiles really big when Daddy comes home from work!
She loves to scream (happy screaming). She loves to hear herself make noises.
She has also slowly started to babble ("ba" & "da"... no "m" sounds yet!).
She can get into the crawling position and hold herself there for a while.
She LOVES her jumperoo (on good days at least). She will jump like crazy and laugh lots.
She also LOVES "Saved By the Bell." Don't ask.... but you should see her face when the theme music plays.
She loves staring at warning labels. I don't know why, but she does.
She doesn't use a pacifier anymore.
She has definitely started to plump up since starting solids (I miss my tiny and LIGHT baby).

And now time for picture overload because I haven't put any in the last two posts:

 Trying on her blessing dress to make sure it still fits! (I, of course, forgot my camera that day, but my Mom did take some pictures that I'll have to get from her.)

Maddie on our bed the last night in our apartment.

 Hanging out at my sister's house.

 She has the most beautiful eyelashes! Thanks Daddy for passing those onto her!

 Hanging out at the SLC airport, just before we boarded.

Meeting her new best friend, Bailey (and trying to eat her arm). She is about 3 months older than Maddie.

Mmm... toes!

Pepsi? I'll have some.

We love when Daddy comes home from work!

Yummy toes again!

Funny sleep arms.

Cute little romper!

Mom, can I have some?

This is how I found her one morning.

Sad Maddie.

Watching GC with Mom.

Going swimming at Bailey's.

Mom got a new haircut!

Good morning!

Look at me, guys!

Easter morning.

Sleeping at church.

Maddie's new banner (that I started before she was born)- finally finished!

Rice cereal?

With formula? Yuck!

Rice cereal again... but with breastmilk. Yum!

Napping.

Sweet potatoes!!

Cute belly.

Pushing herself backwards under her crib.

More Pepsi!

All ready for church!

So happy to be in a Target again (in Springfield, MO)!

Sleeping at Bass Pro Shops.

Driving the boat.

Trapped!

Her cute little body in her bulky cloth diapers!

Checking out her shadow.

So happy!

Crack.

We love the Padres!

Her favorite game!

Watching The Biggest Loser with Mom.

Jumperoo!

Mmm... nanas!

On a walk with Mom.

Maddie & friends.